Snow White
✨ A classic fairy tale given the panto treatment — bigger, brighter, and funnier than ever!
Snow White is confident, resourceful, and ready to take on the Wicked Queen — with a little help from a heroic Prince, a hilariously butch Dame, and seven dwarves who are more exaggerated than ever. But this isn’t just the Snow White you know… along the way we meet Red Riding Hood, the Boy Who Cried Wolf, the Three Little Pigs, Barry Snot with his “Killit Bang,” and even a full-blown Strictly parody that gets the whole audience cheering!
🎠Why choose this script?
-
Comedy in every scene – from slapstick to satire, local jokes to daft wordplay.
-
A Dame to die for – Gerty struts, sings, and banters with the audience.
-
Big casting flexibility – main roles, fun cameos, and ensemble moments for large or small groups.
-
Built for spectacle – spiders dropping in the forest, magical transformations, Bake Off chaos, and “Strictly Duff Dancing.”
-
Family friendly – clever enough for adults, silly enough for kids, and full of audience participation.
HUNTSMAN EXITS STAGE RIGHT
GERTY: Well, what now?
SNOW WHITE: I suggest we sit down on this log and have a think. It’s no good rushing into anything. We must make a plan.
GERTY: Well, I have a plan and it's that I have a nap. I’m worn out after chasing after you.
SNOW WHITE: That is a good idea Gerty! We'll be able to think more clearly after a little sleep.
THE PAIR SIT ON THE LOG AND LEAN SHOULDER TO SHOULDER. THEY CLOSE THEIR EYES.
SFX: SWANNEE WHISTLE.
A GIANT SPIDER IS LOWERED AND LANDS ON GERTY. SHE STIRS AND THE SPIDER SHOOTS BACK UP. THE SPIDER IS LOWERED A SECOND TIME AND AGAIN GERTY STIRS AND THE SPIDER SHOOTS BACK UP AGAIN. THE THIRD TIME THE SPIDER LANDS ON HER GERTY WAKES, SEES THE SPIDER AND SCREAMS.
SNOW WHITE: Don’t worry Gerty, its only Incy Wincy Spider. He just dropped in to say hello.
GERTY: If he wanted to say ‘hello’, why couldn’t he send a text instead of dropping in and frightening the life out of me.
SNOW WHITE: Oh Gerty, he’s quite harmless.
GERTY: But not legless! I don’t like all those legs and eyes. It gives me the creeps.
SNOW WHITE MOVES TO LISTEN TO INCY
SNOW WHITE: That’s just what Incy Wincy was thinking about you.
GERTY: Well, what a cheek!
SNOW WHITE LISTENS TO INCY AGAIN
SNOW WHITE: Oh, Incy says he can see someone coming! We better hide in case it’s the Queen!
THEY HIDE BEHIND A BUSH AND INCY RISES BACK UP OUT OF SIGHT.
BOY-WHO-CRIED-WOLF ENTERS STAGE RIGHT, RUNNING AND LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER.
BOY WCW: Help! Help!
SNOW WHITE EMERGES FROM BUSH AND GOES TO THE BOY.
SNOW WHITE: What's the matter little boy?
BOY WCW: Oh, thank goodness! You've got to help me! There’s a wolf chasing me! (POINTS OFFSTAGE RIGHT)
SNOW WHITE: A wolf?
BOY WCW: Yes, and he wants to eat me!
GERTY: Just a minute. I know you. You’re that boy who keeps crying, “Wolf!” and when everyone comes running to help you there is no wolf and you think it's all a big joke.
BOY WCW: I know I’ve done that before. And I’m very sorry about it, too. But this time there really is a wolf!
SNOW WHITE: Hmm, but why should we believe you this time?
BOY WCW: Well, because, because, er. There is no reason. I know you think it’s another lie.
SNOW WHITE: That’s the trouble when you tell fibs. People won't believe you when you really are telling the truth.
BOY WCW: I really am telling the truth this time. I’m really scared. Please help me!
GERTY: Ha! A likely story.
SNOW WHITE: I think I believe him Gerty. He does look very frightened.
GERTY: Hmph, I suppose so. But what are we going to do about the wolf?
SNOW WHITE: We’ll have to get some sort of weapons to defend ourselves with.
AS THEY ALL START TO LOOK AROUND, THEY HEAR THE SQUEALS OF PIGS.
SFX: PIGS
GERTY: I haven’t met many wolves but that didn’t sound a lot like one to me.
SFX: PIGS SQUEAL
SNOW WHITE: YOU’RE RIGHT GERTY. I SOUNDED MORE LIKE…
THREE PIGS RUN ON FROM STAGE RIGHT.
SFX: SQUEALS
THREE PIGS: Help, help! The wolf's after us!
INKY: He blew my straw house down!
PINKY: He blew my stick house down!
GERTY: Just a minute, you built your house from bricks. Don’t tell me the wolf blew that down as well?
PARLAIS: No, he didn’t blow it down. He blew it up!
SNOW WHITE: The wolf seems to have learned some new tricks.
INKY: What are we going to do?
GERTY: Don’t you worry. Just pork yourself on that log.
PINKY: (SARCASTICALLY) Ha, Ha. Very punny
GERTY: You two just trotter over there and hide behind that bush. Come on chop, chop.
PARLEZ: Look, just because we are pigs doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings too.
GERTY: Don’t you mean, squealings?
PARLAIS: Oh, woe is me! Pursued by a wolf and then ridiculed by our saviours.
GERTY: Stop hamming it up and go and find something to fight the wolf with.
BOY WCW: Listen! (CUPS HAND ROUND EAR) There's someone else coming.
ENTER RED RIDING HOOD STAGE RIGHT
RED RH: Oh, thank goodness I’ve found someone!
SNOW WHITE: Why? What's happened?
RED RH: It’s the wolf. He’s been round at grandma’s house doing some dressing-up and now he says he wants to eat me up! I’m terribly afraid. Please, please help me!
SNOW WHITE: Don’t worry, all of you! Gerty and I will protect you.
GERTY: And look, there are; (POINTS TO CHARACTERS AS SHE COUNTS) 1, 2, 3, er... quite a lot of us so we can easily beat one wolf. (SHE LOOKS AT THE PIGS) So come on, let’s get crackling! Oh, sorry, sorry. I meant, let’s get cracking.
PINKY: What are we going to do?
INKY: It’s nothing dangerous, is it?
GERTY: Oh, don’t be such silly sausages.
ALL PIGS: Squeal!
SNOW WHITE: We'll all be fine just so long as we stick together. So come on everyone, we’re going on a wolf hunt!
GOING ON A WOLF HUNT BASED ON THE BOOK, “GOING ON A BEAR HUNT” BY MICHAEL ROSEN. ACTIONS BY CAST COPIED BY THE AUDIENCE.
SNOW WHITE: Right, the wolf must be very close now. Are you all ready to catch him?
ALL : Yes!
SFX: WOLF HOWL
BOY WCW: Do we have to catch him?
SFX: WOLF HOWL
PINKY: He sounds very angry.
SFX: WOLF HOWL
PARLAIS: And very close.
SFX: VERY LOUD WOLF HOWL
SNOW WHITE: Listen everyone, I have a new plan.
GERTY: (SHAKING WITH FEAR) What?
SNOW WHITE: Run!