ALADDIN EXITS STAGE RIGHT.

TWANKEY:         I don’t know what he’s talking about. Hello, who’s this coming down the street?

MUSTAFA ENTERS STAGE RIGHT.

                           Ooh, it’s that dishy Wazir. (FUSSES WITH HAIR) Good day to you kind sir.

MUSTAFA:         (GLOOMILY) Not such a good day, madam. The palace has gone, the Sultan has gone, the Sultana has gone and                                the Princess, too. I don’t know what to do.

TWANKEY:        Well, why don't you come over here to me and we can not know what to do, together.

MUSTAFA:         (PERKS UP) What a good idea!

HE MOVES NEXT TO TWANKEY

                           I must say, you look rather ravishing today.

TWANKEY:        (COYLY) Ooh, I bet you say that to all the ladies.

MUSTAFA:         Yes, I do.

TWANKEY:        What?

MUSTAFA:         But you are so very special.

TWANKEY:        Ooh, do you think so?

MUSTAFA:         I know so. I think you're lovely.

TWANKEY:        (WRIGGLING AS IF EMBARRASSED) I'm not lovely.

MUSTAFA:         Well, you're nearly lovely.

TWANKEY:        What? Anyway, let's get to know each other a bit better, shall we? I don’t even know your real name. I can’t call you,                              Wazir.

MUSTAFA:         My name is Mustafa.

TWANKEY:        Oh, very nice. And your surname?

MUSTAFA:         Bitt.

TWANKEY:        Mustafa Bitt.

MUSTAFA:         That's just what I was thinking. Come on!

MUSTAFA TAKES TWANKEY BY THE ARM TO LEAD HER INTO LAUNDRY BUT SHE RESISTS.

TWANKEY:        Whoa, whoa, whoa there Mustafa! You hardly know me.

MUSTAFA:         On the contrary my dear, I know almost everything about you. As the Wazir, it is my job to know all that is going in the land.

TWANKEY:         What, you even know about her at the “Novelty Turkish Delight Emporium”?

MUSTAFA:          She’s full of eastern promise.

TWANKEY:         Ooh, you do know everything.

MUSTAFA:          Yes, my voluminous one.

TWANKEY:         Don’t you mean, voluptuous one?

MUSTAFA:          (TO AUDIENCE) I know what I mean.

TWANKEY:         Well then, why don’t you tell me all about me?

MUSTAFA:          A good idea my dear.

MUSIC: THIS IS YOUR LIFE. CHORUS BRING ON A CHAIR AND A RED BOOK. TWANKEY SITS AND MUSTAFA STANDS BESIDE HER.

                           You are Twankey Hanky-Panky-Cranky, not the least bit Swanky, Smith. You were born here in Khalif on the 5th of                                June...

TWANKEY:         Er, no need for such trifling details. Move along.

MUSTAFA:          You had a difficult time as a child in your neighbourhood. People used to cover you with cream and put cherries your                             head.

TWANKEY:         Yes, it was tough growing up in the gateaux.

MUSTAFA:          In your teens, you had a lot of different jobs.

TWANKEY:         Yes, I did. But I just couldn't settle into any of them.

MUSTAFA:          You tried your hand at ploughing.

TWANKEY:         Yes, but I didn't like the feeling of being stuck in a rut.

MUSTAFA:          Then there was your brief stint as an escapologist.

TWANKEY:         Ooh, that job was such a struggle. I was glad to get out of it.

MUSTAFA:          Next, you were a stunt double.

TWANKEY:         Now, I was really good at that. Some days I was on fire!

MUSTAFA:          Then came that tragic day that has left you scarred for life.

TWANKEY:         The day I met my husband.

MUSTAFA:          Was it a whirlwind romance?

TWANKEY:         Well, there wasn’t much whirl but there was a lot of wind. But move along, they've heard enough about him already.                              (INDICATES AUDIENCE)

MUSTAFA:          With your first child you wanted to have a water birth.

TWANKEY:         Oh yes, I did. The swimming pool manager was furious.

MUSTAFA:          After the birth of your second son, Wishy Washy, your husband began to drink a lot.

TWANKEY:         Yes, he drank something terrible, he did. I know because he let me try some. He was such a fool when he was                                       drunk. He once said he’d buy me a stiff drink. It turned out to be an ice lolly.

MUSTAFA:          Then tragedy struck, and he passed away. It was an accident though?

TWANKEY:         Hmm, yes. He ran into a bar: an iron bar. You know, Mustafa, I don't know what I saw in him. I wish I'd met you first                              because...

SONG: FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN. PERHAPS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR COMEDY ELEMENTS DURING THE SONG. TWANKEY COULD DRAPE HERSELF OVER MUSTAFA, SIT ON HIS KNEE, STROKE HIS FACE ETC.